Growing up, I strongly believed that good things would happen to me only if I could control certain aspects of my life. Think of it as a payment to the universe in advance. Of course, it was a coping mechanism, which I now understand was borderline toxic to my mental health. Needless to say, this very behavior led me to have control issues, and I ended up developing a strong Type A personality. This worked fine for me in my twenties and early thirties. However, as I approach midlife, I find in myself this intense yearning to let go of that control. And so, this post is about how I have begun to take mindful steps towards living softly. Most of it is rooted in a mindset shift and looking at things differently.
Maybe you are on the same boat as me. Or maybe you are just a curious reader. Either way, I hope you find something useful in my epiphanies and lessons learned the hard way.
1. Life happens, one way or the other
Such is the nature of life; it doesn’t pause for anyone or anything. So while I was busy trying to control every aspect of my life, things happened at their own pace. In the end, I had no discernible power over any of it. Understanding this very fact began the shift in my perspective and pushed me to let go.
2. Loosening the control doesn’t mean defeat
I am not the control, therefore loosening the ropes did not mean that I was a failure.
For someone who has lived most of her adult life trying to be prepared for everything, this was extremely hard to do. In fact, I am still struggling with this. But I believe that I am doing a little better every day. In the end, it’s okay to let things be. The chaos is part of creation, and there’s beauty in it.
3. Focus on the here and now
Much has been said and written about the benefits of mindfulness and the proper ways to practice it. To me, however, it is as simple as being present in the moment. That means little actions like no phones on the dinner table or spending work-free time with my family every evening.
Time will flow, whether I like it or not. The least I can do is to be aware of the here and now and live a balanced life.
Related Read: Choosing Kindness: How Small Acts Can Make a Big Impact!
4. Most of our worries are improbable
I often say that I come from a family of constant worriers. While it’s meant to be a joke, the irony of it is not lost on me. When I made the conscious choice to try practicing living softly, it was somewhat motivated by the urge to break away from this ancestral cycle of chronic hypertension that has plagued my family. Now that I have a better perspective, I have come to realize that most of our worries are highly improbable. This fact alone has helped me ground myself in moments of extreme anxiety and need for control.
5. The universe listens to us
I truly believe in the ancient wisdom of all living things being part of the universe and the universe dwelling in each of us. How else can we explain all the magic that happens around us?
In that same vein, I have also come to believe that the universe listens and responds to our heart’s deepest desires. So, if I am trying to let go of some of the control and practice living softly, the universe will likely see that and perhaps help me along the way. I know that it might sound very naive and foolish to some people. But I am a hopeless optimist in this matter. I look at everything around me and try to believe that magic truly exists, and it manifests itself in this manner.
Related Read: How to Embrace Slow Living in a Fast-Paced World?
Taking baby steps
One step that I am consciously taking in my living softly era is doing activities that I absolutely loved doing as a kid. For me, that’s reading physical books, especially fantasy and mythology genres.
My other and perhaps greatest source of joy is art. I have been drawing and painting ever since I can remember. It is the one thing that I can never say no to. But even then, over the last few years, art had taken a back seat in my life. I have come to realize that not spending time doing what I love has been quite detrimental to my well-being. To live softly also means to live our best lives. And what use is trying to live to my potential if I forget the things that bring me joy?
Peace.
Do you have any related experience or story to tell? Please share in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.
